Last week my father died.
He had been unwell for quite awhile, but the end still came much too quick. What troubles me the most is the time I didn’t spend with him. We lived 600 miles apart, and while I sent fairly regular emails (my father didn’t text), I rarely picked up the phone to call him. My dad was a talker, and I knew if I called I would be on the phone for an hour at the very least. It felt like I didn’t have the time. I was tired after spending 11 hours at work each day; on the weekends, there was always grading and planning and household chores.
Now when I think about how I’ll never speak to him again, my heart aches, and I’m filled with regret. I’ve been asking myself: Why couldn’t I have just set aside an hour a week to call? Why couldn’t I find the time?
I can’t turn back the clock, but I can make a change in my life going forward.
The one regret people never utter on their deathbed is “If only I had spent more time at work.” As a teacher, I used to interpret this quote a little differently. The idea, of course, is that work is not as important as someone’s personal life, but I always liked to think that saying didn’t really apply to my field. Spending long hours slaving away at a desk seemed insignificant compared to molding future generations in the classroom every day. Surely teaching is a profession worthy of sacrifice, isn’t it?
But what about making time for people and activities outside of work? Employees in many different professions are feeling overworked and burned out, and they’re seeking more balance to their workaholic lives. Scores of books have been written on this issue, including those specifically aimed at the teaching profession. After a particularly rough year at my school, I realized that while sacrificing for students was noble, it couldn’t take over every aspect of my life. Other teachers in my building shared with me this year that they were also feeling at the end of their rope.
As school ended this year, I set out to discover what changes I would need to make to find balance in my life. After researching numerous books, I ordered The Balanced Teacher Path by Justin Ashley and The Happy Teacher Habits by Michael Linsin. Both are quick reads and can be finished in an evening or two. I highly recommend both of them if you’re contemplating a need for change in your own teaching practice.
Of course, I know that books alone will not provide me with all of the answers I need. I intend to spend time this summer contemplating the changes I want to implement in the fall and researching how to make them happen. I want to start with a clear plan I can follow throughout the year.
Why? I need to live a fuller life outside of my job year round – not just during summer break. I need to have time after school to go to the gym to stay healthy. I need to have more fun with my husband on weekends. I need to be more present in my children’s lives, even though one is in college and the other will be a senior in high school. I also need to set aside time each week to call my mom, who I only get to see once a year. I don’t want to regret putting my work – no matter how important – ahead of the people I love.
As I continue my quest to find balance, I will share the information I discover that might help others live a happier life at home and in the classroom. I hope you can join me on this journey!
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